Take a Look Through My Eyes...

Happy Happy Happy Commercial Holidays!

2005-02-15T03:10:46Z

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!!!

What a silly holiday, but sweet nonetheless.
I got flowers and balloons from Kevin
and a valentine from Dan
and a flower from Noah.

What a stupid holiday though.
Silly Hallmark, just trying to make money off of poor St. Valentine.

Well i'm off to bed now
Bon soir!

XXX

Pirates of the Carribbean has such a kickass score

silly fortune cookies...

2005-02-14T00:17:59Z

Ya know those times when something is going wrong
and you just don't know what to do about it?
And then, you get a sign.
A sign so ironic, that you just have to laugh?

Well today I got a sign.
For all of those who know my current situation here it is,
Be ready to laugh:

Today I got a fortune cookie that read as follows,
"A secret romance is blossoming. Despite your hesitation, go for it!"

Can you get more ironic? CAN YOU?

Well the Grammy's are on tonight!
And if Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Britney Spears...or any of those crappy pop acts wins anything...I will throw something at the TV.
I WILL!

Love you all!
Nighty night

Velcome and bienvenue, velcome...

2005-02-07T03:52:46Z

Howdy Ladies and Gents...
My boy problem has been solved, for now atleast.
I Love Kevin.
I feel bad for Dan though.
I saw The Aviator with Dan on Friday (with Kevin's permission..long story) and Dan seemed so happy, *sigh* oh well

Yesterday was Thespianage
the biannual Staples Players fundraiser.
It was soo much fun, but I was there from 9 am until 2 am.
That's a looooong time.
It was funny though because Dan kept sneaking me away from Kevin.
I dragged along a freshman with us to make sure nohting happened.

Paul McCartney put on such a great performance at the Super Bowl.
But where was Ringo?

Good night for now!
XXX

All we can do, my love, is hope we don't take this ship down..

2005-02-02T00:31:14Z

I'm having an anxiety attack.
What better way to get rid of anxiety than to write, right?

So here it goes:

I love Kevin. Plain and simple. But lately I feel like I'm straying from him. That we're trying to shroud each other from what would happen if we broke up.
I feel like that we love each other, but we may be getting bored of each other.
I'm so afraid to lose him, I'm so afraid.
Then there's Dan.
Dan likes me, he has for awhile.
He's always been a good friend and always there for me.
I think part of my straying from Kevin is that I think i have some feelings for Dan.
Fuck, I'm such an idiot.
I Dan that...of course he was happy.

Now I don't know what to do.

Should I stay with Kevin and try to work things out with him?
Or should I take the risk and see how things with Dan would work?

I'm so confused...so terribly confused.

I need help, lord knows I do.

Help me?

Night

the greatest thing you'll ever learn...

2005-01-29T05:28:42Z

Tonight was tech for the "One Act Play Festival" for school.
I'm fucking tired.
I haven't been home since 6:30 this morning.
I just got home at 12.
Stupid One Acts.

I don't get it.
Why is it that people can feel one thing and have their conscience tell them the opposite.
Stupid conscience.
For about 15 minutes during the show today,
I couldn't stand Kevin.
I was like...I loved him, but my conscience wouldn't let me.
He would say "I Love You" and I would reply the same and I really meant it,
but int he back of my mind it kept repeating "but I don't love you..."
What the hell is wrong with me?
Then 15 minutes later, it was gone.

What should I do?
Should I listen or ignore it?
Stupid human nature.

I'm tired.
I don't want to fall asleep just yet.

Stroodle is a very funny word.

Good night.
XXX

You can't continue life in the future if you keep living in the past..

2005-01-25T01:16:00Z

Wow.
I have not updated in the longest time.
Well, I have returned from the land of mid-terms and I deem myself successful in those, I suppose.
Fucking midterms, why must we take a test of EVERY freakin' thing we've learned so far this year?
What does that measure exactly?
How much information we can cram into our heads a week before (or a night before)?
But they are over now, so it's okie.

Yesterday I got stuck in a snowbank!
Kevin was driving me home, and the car got stuck.
Hahahahaa, I turned up the music and started to dance.
He had to call his dad and his dad came with a shovel and shoveled us out.
It was the funniest thing that has ever happened.
I called my dad, he laughed.

So, I'm in this play now!
It's called "Jake's Women", written by Neil Simon (the guy that wrote "The Odd Couple")
It's about this guy (Jake), who's wife dies and he never really let go and constantly carries her around with him.
His second wife has also just left him.
Jake tends to live life in his head by creating conversations with the women in his life.
I'm Jake's daughter, Molly.
I've never really let go of my mother's death and have some troubles from it.
It's going to be an awesome show.
Rehearsal is going well.

Oh YES!!!
I found THE BEST icecream flavor EVER.
It's called "Oatmeal Cookie Chunk" by Ben and Jerry's
If you like Oatmeal Cookies try it, trust me.
It's beyond anything you've ever tasted.

Snow is pretty.
It kept me from coming up to NJ this weekend,
but it's pretty.

That's pretty much all I have to say for now.
I hope you all had a very snow filled weekend!!!

Now and Always,
Lindsay
XXX

Felice complianos a me!

2005-01-11T01:47:34Z

Today is my birthday!!!
This past weekend was so much fun:)
On Friday I slept over with my cousins, we ate food and watched Garden State (quality film for those of you who hadn't seen it).
Then I Kevin took me out on Saturday for his part of my birthday. He took me out to dinner and then we went ice skating...we were the only people ont he ice, it was terribly romantic.
And then today I got my permit!!!!! Hooray for driving, wahoo.
And then I went out to dinner w/ my family.
It was a wonderful birthday!
Now and Always
Lindsay

it's almost here..

2005-01-07T00:12:54Z

MONDAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!
It's funny because up until yesterday I wasn't excited at all. But now I am! I get my permit!!!
I'm really terribly excited.
Also, tomorrow, Friday, i'm doing stuff w/ my cousins and I haven't seen them in a really really long time.
Then on Saturday, I'm doing something with Kevin, thought he refuses to tell me what.
Then on Monday I'm doing stuff with my family and on Tuesday something with my aunt, so now I'm really realy excited :)

Tomorrow is going to feel like it's taking forever.
Yesterday we got out early from school and today we had a delay.
Hence, as to why, tomorrow will feel SUPER LONG!

Well everyone, have a lovely weekend!!!!

Always and Forever
Lindsay

H-E-double hockey pucks....HEOO

2005-01-03T01:13:22Z

Vacation has ended.
Tomorrow, school begins once more.
Tomorrow, the students of SHS must move into the new building built (uch, so much walking)
Tomorrow, the work will be piled on and studying for midterms will start
Why does going back to school suck so much?

Well...I hope all of you had an amazing New Years! May all of your hopes and wishes come true for the New Year. Time to better ourselves :)

Today I went to NYC w/ my grandparents and my aunt and Kevin.
We ate Dim-Sum in China town...mhhhhhhhhh...it was like a never ending eating fest. People just kept walking around with these little carts and they asked you if you wanted it, and if you did, you could just eat it! YUM
Then we drove around in the car, and listened to my grandma try to give us a tour of NYC and argue w/ my grandpa about how she needed to use the "bathroom" and all Kevin, and my aunt and I could do was crack up in the back seat of the car. It was quite interesting, i must say.
Then we went to Dylan's candy bar, I've never seen that much candy in my life...EVER

I suppose the only good part about going back to school is that my birthday is in 8 days!
Everyone is making such a big deal..."it's your 16th birthday, we must do something special"...but quite honestly I don't really want to do anything. I don't really get it...hm..

Well everyone have fun in school tomorrow!!!! Hah

Remember, the phantom of the opera is there inside your mind..mwahahah
(sorry trying to get out the last bit of my vacation hyperness out)

Now and Always
Lindsay

inds2110 @ 2004-12-28T22:59:00

2004-12-29T04:04:54Z

Sorry...pictures got messed up! Here they are!

Phantom?

Raoul? (sorry this picture is crappy...couldn't get the better one)

You alone can make my soul take flight...

2004-12-29T03:36:01Z

I saw Phantom of the Opera today at the movies...wow. I've seen the play, so I know the story, but they did a really phenomenal job bringing the classic play to the screen. The cast was amazing...including a very sexy phantom and the sets were also completely awesome. The only that that really bothered me is that a couple of the effects they did, they did for the sake of doing. It was like they had more freedom because it was on screen and not on stage. Also, it sure did snow a lot in the movie. And the ending was really pointless.
But the music is so haunting and gorgeous..it stays with you long after the film and I don't believe one person stirred throughout the whole movie. We were all completely glued to the screen.
I think the one thing that really stuck with me was the conflict that Christine had. She had to choose between the phantom, (who would love her forever and ever with such passion, but she would live in darkness and never lead a normal life) or Raoul (who would also love her, maybe not as passionately, but he would allow her to have a normal life.) I don't know why, but her predicament really spoke to me and really got to me. If i were her I think I would choose the phantom. Though I would live in darkness forever, he would love me forever, no matter what. Throughout the movie I wanted Christine to end up with the phantom because I felt so terrible for him. He loved her so passionately and yet, he realized he could never have her. Oh hell...I want a phantom!!!!! Then again, what girl doesn't??? Who would you choose?

Phantom?

Raoul?

You decide.....

Always and Forever

Lindsay XXXXX

vacation...all i ever wanted?

2004-12-28T01:13:25Z

From the day we start school, we slowly count down the months until winter break. Then the week before we get off for break, we pine for that freedom. Then, once we finally reach vacation we're READY TO PARTY, but unfortunately, the resources allowing us to party aren't tailored to our age group. So then a couple days after break begins we are bored. We scrounge for things to do, and yet we're too lazy to organize them ourselves. Oh well, I suppose that is the routine of vacation for us teens. I don't want to go back to school, but I do want something to do.

Well I'm out for now
Always and Forever
~Lindsay

Merry Christmas my loves....

2004-12-25T02:28:27Z

I am back in Livingston. Yesterday I went to school and surprised everyone, it was such an awesome feeling to see the looks on everyones faces when they saw me. I felt quite loved, I must say haha. Well now I'm just hanging about, but I want to wish everyone a

MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY CHRISTMAS!!!! May you holiday be filled with much joy and much food, as it's supposed to be.
Love you all
Always and Forever
Lindsay

you alone can make my sould take flight...

2004-12-16T01:13:25Z

Hey you krazy kats! i have returned after many months...where have I been? Quite honestly I was just too lazy to update. So we are in that last week of school, many countdowns to be counted! Here is the final tally:
School Days Left Until Christmas Break: 5
Days Left Until Phantom of the Opera Comes Out in Theatres: 7
Days Left Until Christmas: 10
Days Left Until New Years': 16
Days Left Until My Birthday!!!!!: 26
So, whether you have already celebrated the festival of lights or are waiting to celebrate Christmas, or Hannukah...HAPPY HOLIDAYS! May all your merriment be spread to everyone :) Anywayz..what is new right now. Yesterday were tryouts for the Staple's Players version of Midsummer's Night Dream (all you Livingstoners), I think I did okay, but we shall see. According to Mr. Roth, we're going to make Puck fly! School is going going well I suppose, teachers are really starting to crack down on the work before break. Blech! On the happier side of things, today it snowed a bit and on Sunday there is supposed to be a MASSIVE snowstorm...God willin' and the creek don't rise haha. Over break I'll be in Livingston from the 23rd until the 29th, so is you are around give me a call and we shall hang!! Well for now I'm out and about.
Always and Forever
Lindsay

Hello my lovelys...

2004-11-25T01:55:17Z

Hello my lovelys...it has been quite awhile hasn't it? Cabaret is finally over, so I do have some time to have a life of my own for a bit. Cabaret was phenomenal and it was great to work on it (if you would like to see pictures, IM moi). So, lately life has been pretty interesting. During strike of the Cabaret set, I broke up with Kevin for 10 minutes...here is the story as follows. I told him I didn't want to end up like my parents and he didn't understand (understandably). He begged me not to do this to us and all I could say was "i'm sorry" and walk away as I was crying. It's funny how things like this happen. As I walked away, I felt numb. I was leaving the one thing in my life that made perfect sense, the one person I truly love behind me and I was doing this to myself. I felt so weak, my knees would have given out if I didn't try so hard. Then he threw his guitar necklace on the floor (which I gave him), calling after me "this is my heart, take it". So in turn, I threw my guitar necklace on the floor and left both of them there. After I walked away, he walked into the auditorium, tears streaming, and threw both necklaces in the air at me. I caught them and then proceeded to go outside and throw them over the balcony into the courtyard below. That's when it really hit him that this was real and he just broke down. After about 5 minutes, I realized I couldn't do this to us. He is just so wonderful and I love him so much and I realized that by preventing us from getting hurt later, was just hurting us more. I went down into the courtyard and searched until I found the necklaces entangled together in the rain. I walked back in, he waS sitting in the corner crying. I sat down next to him, his necklace in hand. "Kevin," I spoke, "I can't do this to us. You know I can't. I know I can't...please..." and then I started to cry and then he took me in his arms and everything was fine.
Doesn't it sound so terribly cheesy and movie-like? I know it does, but it is all true...every word of it. Sickening, huh? Now it's Thanksgiving!!! Mmmmmhhhhhhhhhhh....food *drools like Homer Simpson* What an American holiday. Yes, I know it IS, in fact, an American holiday, but it is SO Americanized. We have 4 whole days to eat ourselves sick and THEN sleep for the rest of the time. Can you get more American than that? But yay! Goooood food! For now, Bon soir mes amis! I love you all and have a Wonderful-stuff-yourself-silly-with-food Turkey Day!!!
Now and Always
Me

and now i'm back from outerspace (or CT)..

2004-11-06T04:57:04Z

I'm back in Livingston for now! Tonight was so fun. Katie B. and Katie O. and I went to the Lancer's football game-there Seton Hall royally killed us (i think it was 26 to 0). It was really wonderful to walk around the field, I felt like I had returned to my old stomping grounds. It was really amazing to see so many people that I haven't seen since I've left. It was great to know that people still cared and were actually really excited to see me, it was truly a wonderful feeling. I miss Livingston and I think it took moving to realize this. It's funny how relationships can grow, though in reality you live 75 miles away. I'm happy to be back.
Now and Always
~Lindsay

i'm obsessed...

2004-11-04T02:13:57Z

So, I'm obsessed with Sex in the City. There is this channel on Io, that just plays reruns over and over and to be quite honest I can't wait to watch it every day. I dont' know if it's the storylines I love, or the reality of love and life in the city or becuase Carrie Bradshaw is a journalist, it's just a phenomenal show! It's really terrible to be obsessed with the TV, i wish I wasn't. Anywayz, Cabaret is going really really well. I just really wish I had something to do during those looongggggg rehearsals! Good gosh! Well I'm out for now!
Now and Always
Lindsay

another turning point i suppose...

2004-10-28T22:41:42Z

Why is it that everytime things can't get any worse...they do? First I move here and I finally get settled in, so I'm past that now. Then my dad goes into the hospital, then Kevin gets sick and now, that I am finally settled into my house in Connecticut, I'm moving....AGAIN! I suppose that we just can't afford the house we now reside in, and that is understandable, but I'm still allowed to be upset. I love this house and there are some many memories here (plus, it doesn't help that I live right around the corner from kevin). So once we move (we'll still be in the same town, but i don't know what part, it could be the total otherside)that means; no more walks with kevin, no more hanging out in the tree house....every memory i've created here, everything I've grown to love is now gone and that really saddens me. *sigh* Can things still get worse?
Now and always
~Lindsay

god damnit! wigging out..

2004-10-27T00:31:11Z

So today totally sucked. School was fine I guess, after school is when everything went down. I started finishing those wretched doors when Anna realizes her purse was stolen. So the policeman came and everyone was flipping out because there is a new "Player's thief" and he trying to take revenge upon Players. Who knows? Then Kevin, who came back to school from being sick, went to the doctor. He comes back and guess what? KEVIN HAS MONO. So guess what again? I most likely have mono. So if I have mono, which i probably do (i probably gave it to him) than Kylie has mono and Scott has mono and everyone in Players has mono! HOORAH! So now I'm wigging out completeley because I have so much work and now i might have mono and i'm just so overly tired that i can't concentrate at all. Also, i'm not going to see Kevin for like a week and the whole weekend I had planned out so perfectly is COMPLETELY ruined. Kevin was supposed to stay over my house (his folks were going to go visit his brother at college) which would have totally rocked. Well SCREW THAT. Then there was Scott's party and we're all going as Peter Pan characters. Kevin is Peter Pan, so now he probably can't go. And if I have mono, then I probably can't go. Then we were going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight, nope...not happening! See? EVERYTHING is screwed up now. So I'm wigging out completely. Damnit. I guess the best laid plans of mice and men....
See i'm so wigged I'm quoting stuff from english class! Geez

yum...

2004-10-24T04:29:53Z

JUDE LAW IS ON SNL! That is all I have to say. How yummy is that man? Oh good lord, thank you! *Drools*

run away on a one way track...

2004-10-24T03:18:53Z

Today was...alright I guess. I spent my morning sleeping, hoorah! Sleep is one of those phenomenal things that you just can't get enough of. School completely drains you, it's so sad. Then I went to visit someone at the hospital. He is getting better, which I'm really happy for, but it was weird seeing him there. There was this dude down the hallway who was snoring so loudly it sounded like he was sleeping into a speaker, tee hee. Then I went to Staples and panelled doors for 3 hours with Pocious, woot. Well now I know how to panel doors-i suppose that could come in handy? No....not really. And then I turned down going out with Dan or Rob, and sat at home while Kevin, Scott and Jeff have a "boys night in". Yipper. Well, yay for today.

South Park:
South Park seems to be always on when you are completely bored. All night I haven't been able to entertain myself and to my surprise the 27 best episodes are on Comedy Central. The show is absolutely brilliant, it's just so clever about every little thing. Like the "Passion of the Jew" w/ Mel Gibson. PHENOMENAL. I LURVE SOUTH PARK!

Now and Always
~Lindsay

Lets Fly, Lets Fly Away...

2004-10-21T22:57:34Z

Alrighty folks..so I've given it some thought and I've decided to make this little journal of mine into an online column thingy. I figure it shall be fun!

Boston Market:
I don't really know what it is about Boston Market, but it's just so damn good. All of it. And the bad thing is I constantly crave it. It's one of those comfort foods I guess. But it's damn good anywayz. We had it for dinner tonight and I don't think I've ever been more excited for dinner. I know that's terribly sad, but I can't get enough of it. Though my mother has found a cricket in her caesar salad she got from there, yes it's true, I don't care. If i could I think I would eat there every night and not get sick of it. Mmmmmmhhhhhhhhh....Boston Market *Drools*

So about today. Today was pretty alright. In math we had nothing to do so I took a nap for 80 minutes, I must say it was quite glorious. School was the same 'ol, same 'ol, then there was tech. I was only there for 30 minutes today, but it was still fun. I was asked to a Metallica concert, but I don't think I'm going to go because, even though he won't admit it, it will make someone jealous.

Talking about jealousy, isn't it weird when something all of the sudden gets you really really jealous? I'm not a jealous person at all, but something happened and for some reason I got really defensive and my heart was racing and I couldn't concentrate. I shan't go into detail, but I hate that.

Well for now I'm out and aboot!
~Lindsay

she's ba-ack.....

2004-10-21T01:25:13Z

Well everyone I have returned. I had to delete my last journal because my family *ahem*, got a bit snoopy and caused some trouble using this lovely website. So now that I am in westport, I shall be able to keep in touch with all your crazy cats down in livingstoned and other select parts of this world. So school gives too much work. I never really understand the point because it is, in turn, also just more work for the teachers...is it not? Silly teachers, just don't understand. Then there is Cabaret. It is coming along quite well......it's an interesting atmosphere to work in. Well for now I am off like a dirty shirt (props to Ducky)
Now and Always
Lindsay